I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
