She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
