so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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