Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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