i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
