You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
