Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
