I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize