I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize