Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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