How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
