everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
