why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
