your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
