I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
