I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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