We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
