remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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