i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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