i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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