Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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