He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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