I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
