He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
