she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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