she was so not down for the gang bang
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
