I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
