I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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