honey bunches of taint.
im holly from the hills drunk
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize