i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
