i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize