The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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