when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize