It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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