Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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