Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
