Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
