i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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