i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
