Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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