Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
