i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
