just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
