'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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