no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize