you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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