Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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