I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Girls should come with a carfax report
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
