at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
