great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just gift wrapped bread.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
