Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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