Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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