is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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