What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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