I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
