thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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