can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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