its not stalking. its research.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
