That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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