the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
