I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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