i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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