Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
