At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
