so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
