is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
