Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize