I'm laying in your front yard are you home
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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