I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
