Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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