Her vagina should come with caution tape.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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