fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
