I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
