I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
