Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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