IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
