Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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