I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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