another moral hangover. fuck.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
