God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Randomize
